Alex DeLarge vs. Mayumi
Alex DeLarge vs. Mayumi is a What-If? Death Battle by I'm Lynda. It features Alex DeLarge, the villain protagonist from A Clockwork Orange, and Mayumi the villain protagonist from the movie, Gun Woman. Description Alex is looking for a good time...at someone else’s expense, while Mayumi is looking for revenge. They were made for each other! Interlude Boomstick: When it comes to violence in the streets, there’re many of those that do it. And among those that do, their reasons are as varied as their looks. Wiz: Take Alex DeLarge, a child of the streets. His reason is very simple – he loves it. Rape, battery, murder, it’s all good fun to Alex. Boomstick: Or, take Mayumi, a Japanese girl that ended up on the mean streets, and it nearly destroyed her. Now, however, she wants revenge against those who wronged her before, and her justice is final. Wiz: I’m Wiz, and he’s Boomstick. Boomstick: And it's our job to analyze their weapons and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Alex DeLarge Wiz: Alexander “Alex” DeLarge has made a bit of a name for himself on the mean streets of...well, somewhere in England. Boomstick: That’s right, with his system primed with drugs, Alex enjoys causing mayhem wherever he goes. Assault, rape, murder, it’s all a good time for Alex. Wiz: While perhaps not formally trained in hand-to-hand combat, Alex has learned everything he needs to know for him and his fellow gang-members, his droogs, to face the other gangs that share the streets. Boomstick: He carries a straight razor in his pocket, and a cane with a hidden blade in the handle. And when the spirit takes him, he does not mind challenging another gang to a fight. Wiz: Like when Alex and his droogs chanced upon Billyboy and his gang in the middle of a rape. Alex and his three friends challenged the five members of the other gang to a fight, and proceeded to lay them all out. Boomstick: That’s right, the word “fear” is not in Alex’s rather strange vocabulary, and there is no dirty trick that he will not sink to to get ahead. Wiz: Alex never travels alone. Everywhere he goes, he makes sure that he is accompanied by his droogs – his partners in crime. Boomstick: And while Alex is the brains of his gang, his droog Dim is definitely the brawn. Armed with a handy-dandy chain, Dim is always ready to break some heads, some bones, some glass, some anything. Wiz: And then there are the others, Georgie and Pete. They know that there’s more to life than what they are doing, but they are always willing to follow Alex for some fun. Boomstick: Yeah, they may have no dress sense whatsoever, but they do like having a good time. Cross Alex at your own peril! Mayumi Wiz: Mayumi must have a surname, but, sadly, no one cares. Her story reads like a Victorian morality play. She got involved with the wrong type of man, and began a downward spiral of drugs and prostitution. Boomstick: She was even human traffed...trafficted...traffided...sold as a sex slave from Japan to the United States. Wiz: And there she hit rock bottom. Boomstick: Her owner decided she wasn’t worth anything anymore, and sold her to the first buyer to come along with cash in his pocket. Wiz: The buyer, however, wasn’t interested in her as a prostitute, and neither was he a Sir Galahad looking to lift her up. Boomstick: It seems that this man had a score to settle with a particularly bad bad-ass, and he bought Mayumi to be the vehicle of his revenge. Wiz: He cleaned Mayumi of her addiction, and then began to teach her the rudiments of killing another human being. Boomstick: He had another strung-out young woman try and shoot Mayumi from about 50 feet to show her not to be afraid of guns, and then he sliced up the woman and forced Mayumi to watch the effects of blood loss and learn how long it takes a bleeding woman to die. This guy was a firm believer in showing, rather than telling! Wiz: He taught her to be a marksman with a pistol, and brought in a martial arts expert to teach her how to kill opponents with her bare hands. Boomstick: And when Mayumi was ready, this man, referred to only as “The Mastermind,” though “Psycho Head Case” would have been better, made his plans. Wiz: He gave Mayumi a sort of anesthesia that made her appear dead, and then he broke down a pistol and surgically inserted it into her torso. He then had her body delivered to where the target was. Mayumi’s orders were simple. When she awoke, she had to break open the stitches, reassemble the gun, and then kill everyone in the building. Boomstick: As if that wasn’t enough fun, he told Mayumi that she had 22 minutes to accomplish this Sirk dee Solly-el of blood, and then get out to where an accomplice would give her a transfusion. Wiz: She not only accomplished her mission, but she came out carrying the target’s head as a bit of a memento. Boomstick: Sheesh, and my ex-wife thought that *I* asked too much of her! Wiz: Anyway, Mayumi is a formidable assassin. She has been trained to deal with pain, to handle blood loss, and to kill with guns or with her bare hands. She killed a very large male security guard by snapping his neck, and killed a bulletproof vest-wearing female security guard by shooting her between the eyes. Boomstick: But, while Mayumi is good at what she does, she does have one weakness. You see, while she is highly trained, she is still rather inexperienced. So, it’s impossible to say how well she will handle new situations. Wiz: Nonetheless, she is the Gun Woman, and what she knows is killing. Boomstick: She’s cute, and deadly...and she doesn’t complain when set a difficult job. I like that in a woman! Wiz: Yeah…Anyway, the combatants are set; let’s end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: Its time for a DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE Pre-Fight The scene is a dark street in a dilapidated city in Northern England. A young Asian woman is walking along the sidewalk, her steps varying, as she walks around the piles of garbage. She is dressed in a white tank top and black pants, with a loose-fitting, over-sized sweatshirt over the top. Her eyes are on the debris-filled pavement in front of her. Suddenly, as she passes before an alley, a pair of hands reaches out and grab her, pulling her into the alley. She is punched brutally in the stomach, and then her arms are each seized by a strong young man. She is shoved up against a wall. Mayumi finds herself confronted by four young men. They are dressed in a bizarre uniform – white shirt and white pants, and what appears to be an athletic supporter over the pants. Each of the young men sports an incongruous looking back hat. The leader of the men walks up to Mayumi and looks cheerfully at her face. “But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and a lovely kitayankaKitayanka = Chinese (or more generally Asian) girl., make no mistake,” he says, looking her up and down appreciatively. Alex takes a step back, and lets his eyes travel up and down his prey. “Very nice indeed,” he says, and then he peers back into her eyes. “It’s a long, lonely night, and me and my droogsDroog = Friend are a looking for a bit of harmless fun.” He turns to the man standing beside him. “Wouldst thou fancy a bit of the old in and out, old fruit?” Alex seems to dance away from Mayumi, doing a sort of soft shoe on the cobblestones of the alley. Pete steps up to her, his bad breath tickling her nose. “Not the weepy sort of devotchkaDevotchka = Young woman, eh? Well, Pretty Polly, if you are nice to us, we’ll be nice to you. Won’t we lads?” he asks looking at the two holding Mayumi’s arms, with a big grin on his face. Mayumi looks back at Pete, her face devoid of emotion. Alex dances behind Pete, and speaks into his ear. “I don’t think she likes you much, my droogie. No smiles for Pete from pretty young kitayankas. Ha ha.” Then Alex smiles and dances away. He begins to sing, ♪ “If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz.” ♪ FIGHT! K.O.! Results Next Time Why This Fight? I wanted to do a What-If Death Battle! that included Mayumi from the movie, Gun Woman. But, the question was, who should she fight? I did use the female martial artists Melinda May from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Emma Peel from the British Television show, The Avengers, but neither seemed right. You see, both are gym-trained, organization-oriented fighters. Mayumi, on the other hand, is a street fighter. She’s not trained in the traditions of martial arts, but instead in how to overcome and kill opponents quickly and without mercy. As such, her opponent needed to be another street fighter, one without mercy, who would never hesitate to kill. The name that immediately leaped to my mind was Alex, the main character from A Clockwork Orange. He’s skilled at fighting on the mean streets, using any dirty trick that will give him an advantage. Now, he may not quite be in Mayumi’s league as a fighter, but (at least before his falling out with them) he never travels alone. For his antics, he leads his droogs, who enjoy following him into any mayhem he decides on. Personally, I think that it’s a good fit. Trivia References Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:I'm Lynda